Rearing and Reinforcement: Cultural Narcissism in The Digital Age
The birthing and teaching of cultural narcissism through the theatricality of U.S. politics, grandiose Reality TV that props up pathological narcissists, the Kardashian infatuation, and social media.
American cultural narcissism has infected the populace, spawning from the theatricality of U.S. politics, television that props up pathological narcissists, and the binary encoded internet which has convinced everyone of their expertness, certifying righteousness as we spout off in our echo chambers and post selfies for virtual approval. We’re uncertain what definitively causes cluster B personality disorders like narcissism (NPD) and borderline (BPD), but the prevailing consensus is that a combo of environmental and genetic factors results in unhealthy attachment style and maladaptive coping mechanism formation, with many emphasizing the effects of childhood trauma, namely parental instability, neglect, and abuse as catalysts in arrested development. Social influences on behaviors should be extended beyond a nature-nurture debate that primarily focuses on the family, as it is evident that community input and media shape our beliefs and attitudes.
Cultural narcissism is not a new concept. Christopher Lasch first wrote on the phenomenon in 1979, citing Nixon as an image-obsessed figure representative of the trend (though Nixon is more so a prince of Machiavellianism if you ask me). Lasch, doubtlessly, would be appalled but not shocked by the nuke head that is Donald Trump, the poster child of diagnosable narcissism who continues to love bomb an emotionally vulnerable base as he threatens the fragile stability of the body politic with another run for president. Most presidents, if not all, have had traits of narcissism (though Taft gives more bathtub depressive than narcissus), as do the majority of celebrities, who score higher on symptom inventories than the general population, but as seen with so many leaders and self-obsessed parents, these traits are destructive when not curtailed.
One could say that Trump and the American public represent the classic NPD and BPD relationship, a common pairing that is fueled by idealization and devaluation, as the Don has manipulated his erratic and deprived loyalists who stand by him throughout, despite his lack of empathy, angry outbursts, lying, excessive need for admiration, constant desire for attention, and general assholeishness. His supporters, like borderlines, are a little too empathetic, a little too forgiving, and are infatuated with the man who has continuously usurped traditional American values of individual freedom, progress, and democratic congregation, though Trump & Co. are not conservatives or Republicans, but profit-focused populists who put showmanship and spectacle over the union’s safety. Maybe Trump will win in 2024. Regardless, his troop of borderlines have been bait-and-switched by The Apprentice host who has built up a fantasy of Epcot meets Eichmann nationalism, even if they deny his similarities to other notoriously narcissistic, germaphobic, ethnocentric, authoritarian leaders of world war’s past and present.
The image of the narcissist is generally negative, but narcissists are often quite charismatic and likable (at first). The narcissist is an image expert; she mirrors your body language to make you more comfortable, knowing this will make you like her more. The narcissist is also stereotypically obsessed with looks and appearances, whether their fixation be beauty, wealth, popularity, success, or just exuding their general better-than-you-ness. [See the Miss Universe pageant, owned by Trump from 1996 to 2015: it’s an exhibition that attracts all kinds of narcs, from the sprouting contestants seeking affirmation, to the seasoned judges looking to dictate the conventional ideal of physical perfection on young women’s bodies]. Because of this, narcissists gravitate towards positions of power, high-paying careers, and the public eye where their greatness can be affirmed financially and socially by subordinates and fans alike. CEOs are frequently said to have higher rates of narcissism and psychopathy, as their positions require them to emotionally detach to “effectively” run a company (firings; cutting benefits; putting profits before people), and their natural ability for crafting well-manicured facades makes them excellent marketing machines. Google’s Larry Page, a rather unknown name in the minds of most young people, is listed as Forbes’s most narcissistic tech CEO, and this should come as no surprise despite his lack of notoriety, as the company which boasts itself to be the world’s leading search engine is also a cover-up for its fornication with Big Oil, tax evasion, and targeted advertising that utilizes your personal data, earning its’ parent company, Alphabet Inc., roughly $210 billion in 2021.
Narcissists, though haughty and arrogant, often to a detrimental degree, can also be exceptional visionaries who have enough tenacity and grit to push through to see their ideas come to fruition, which is why we get the occasional “Virtues of Narcissism” article by some business bootlicker. When the narcissist determines what he desires and wishes to go after, whether flying cars or flamethrowers, he latches on like lice, and takes hold like C.diff in a Big Mac junky’s intestines. The covert narcissist can be good for the company if his anxiety keeps him bashful, but he fundamentally fails as a parent, friend, lover, and co-worker if he cannot transcend his emotional barriers.
Kim Kardashian, the 21st century American sex symbol, is a narcissist beyond a reasonable doubt. Only one who is as image-obsessed as Kim could understand, utilize, and execute the self-commodification required to get famous for social media presence, a sex tape with a C-list celebrity, and holding Paris Hilton’s bags. She is notoriously hyper-controlling, ensuring her children’s playroom is completely color-coded, photoshopping images of her kids and herself as though they were imperfect extensions, and resorting to extreme dieting to squeeze into Marilyn Monroe’s Happy Birthday, Mr. President dress. Vanity and a preoccupation with physical beauty are common manifestations of narcissism (as is egotism) and Kim lacks neither. She published Selfish (2015), a selfie photobook with a self-aware title, and is currently recovering from her “Get your fucking ass up and work” video in which she insinuates American women are lazy, seemingly forgetting her and others’ financial positions. Kim gets her ass up in various ways, I’ll give her that, but it doesn’t excuse her perpetuation of insecurity and shame.
While she feigns self and social awareness with her curatorial lifestyle and criminal justice reform publicity stunts, her image obsession overtakes her ability to see the harm she inflicts upon the public. Young girls are especially vulnerable to her endless Facetuning, promotion of appetite suppressants, plastic surgery denial, and her obvious eating disorder that seems to make her a whole lot of carbless dough. So much of the narcissist is the pursuit of a perfect image and a material goal; the culture of self-commodification capitalism fuels and reaffirms narcissism. The success stories and idealization of narcissists who so blatantly injure the collective and promote the negatives of individualism fuels and reaffirms the culture of narcissism.
Those with NPD are perceived to have higher self-esteem than others, and we tend to naturally surround those who seem confident, even if they may not be. This is not to say that narcissists don’t really have high self-esteem. Rather, they have highly unstable, high self-esteem that can flounder when met by criticism that does not affirm their greatness, as their sense of worth is pumped by external validation. This reliance on external validation is the crux of the disorder, with grandiose visions of fulfillment based on success, wealth, ideal love, and other facets of perfection being what drives the narcissist to go about their lives in the way they do, and while we as Americans are taught that these goals are what we should strive for to be happy, neither the pathological nor cultural narcissist will feel wholly satisfied when they acquire these desires because material and artificial values fail to quench a tongue deprived of internal security. Our fascination with gaudy displays of wealth, beautiful people, and the bombardment of advertisements pique our interest in watching and following those who have these things on television and social media, but this exposure to blatant displays of narcissism cannot be healthy for the witness, even when intaking media with awareness of the disorder on the screen.
One would think that the psychologists working for MTV, TLC, and Bravo must look out for narcissists to make entertaining shows. The Real Housewives franchise is responsible for hosting a slew of self-obsessed women with shady histories like New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, whose salad days of cocaine and extortion inspired the legendary table flipping scene where Teressa Guidice escalates the dinner “conversation,” seemingly to get the camera on herself. The stars are notorious lushes, and many have accrued DUI charges on and off the show, as in the cases of Brandi Glanville and Sonja Morgan, but many more have been arrested for assault. Porsha Williams beat her co-star Kenya Morgan while filming the season six reunion, LuAnn Delesepps kicked a police officer in Palm Springs, and Kelly Bensimon, the infamous antihero of “Scary Island,” was charged with domestic assault for beating on her fiance. The women seem to believe they are above authority, but their impishness tends to catch up with them.
Collage featuring Donald Trump holding a Bible during BLM protests in D.C., Teressa Guidice of RHONY flipping a table, the infamous Kim Kardashian ugly crying shot, and Jersey Shore’s Ronnie Ortiz-Margo getting Botox.
Salt Lake City’s Jen Shah was arrested in March of 2021 and recently pleaded guilty in a telemarketing fraud case in which she primarily scammed the elderly and economically struggling. Previously mentioned Italian hothead, Teresa Guidice, is the OG ex-con Housewife, serving 15 months for fraud in 2015 before her meatball husband served a 41 month sentence preceding his deportation to Italy. Beverly Hills’ Erika Jayne, singer of XXPEN$IVE and ex-wife of hotshot Erin Brockovich lawyer, Tom Girardi, has been fighting off embezzlement-related lawsuits for a few years now due to her husband’s thieving of his client’s lawsuit settlements so he could maintain their lavish lifestyle. ABC News has crafted documentaries detailing the alleged fraud of both Shah and Jayne in The Housewife and the Shah Shocker (which sounds more like a sexual innuendo than a film title) and The Housewife and the Hustler, as the pattern of white-collar crime in reality TV stars who project a Made-in-China meets Marie Antoinette image of faux security are a curiosity to all who watch, whether they view for entertainment or analytic purposes.
With all this in mind, Andy Cohen, the Mother of Bravo, is the chief shit-stirrer among all the women and notoriously instigates hijinks. His earnings come from recirculating rumors and gossip amongst the show’s stars on Watch What Happens Live, where he has continuously fortified gender stereotypes of cattiness and social aggression. As NBC makes money from their loyal viewership and ad revenue, they also spread the syrup of American cultural narcissism: the new American Dream.
The reasons for consuming junk vary. TV and doomscrolling are distractions; willing dissociations. It is an escape into an unreality or an electric extension, in the words of Marshall McLuhan, who explains how numbness is required to interact with new technology in the chapter The Gadget Lover: Narcissus as Narcosis of Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man (1964). Though his theory is over a half-century old, it is frighteningly applicable to the current digital infection. It describes how the exposure of the nervous system to electric extensions causes us to self-amputate and numb out due to overstimulation, thus causing apathy and narcissism as self-preservationist, reactionary responses. With the majority of the world being addicted to the internet, mass narcosis and cultural narcissism as byproducts are to be expected, but the media we’re gobbling is also reinforcing these behaviors as we rear them through our usage. While electric extensions kill our ability to connect by sucking us into the digital dissonance of desensitization, our entertainment also encourages antisociality through violence, the blatant disregard for others, and the obsession with material wealth, building upon norms of toxic individualism, the rebranding of conceitedness as confidence, and a winning-at-all-costs mentality.
In the 2016 study “Narcissism on the Jersey Shore: Exposure to Narcissistic Reality TV Characters Can Increase Narcissism Levels in Viewers,” researchers Gibson, Hawkins, Redker, and Bushman identified a positive correlation between viewership of narcissistic reality TV and narcissistic trait adoption. The study includes The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, the various Keeping Up with the Kardashian spin-offs, and Rich Kids of Beverly Hills as narcissistic shows while Duck Dynasty and Top Gear are non-narcissistic in accordance to the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI; Raskin & Terry, 1988), which lists issues with Authority, Entitlement, Exhibitionism, Exploitativeness, Self-Sufficiency, Superiority, and Vanity as prime traits of the disorder. Those who watched the most and participated in “experience taking,” which is essentially relating to a subject or establishing a parasocial bond with a character, reported higher levels of narcissism. But when it comes to Jersey Shore, the traditional features of wealth and the haut monde lifestyle are stripped, as the show is largely about lust, sex, and youthful partying. As the seasons go on, the cast develops street cred and are often swarmed by fans (and stalkers) at their various boardwalk hang-outs; the narcissism of the cast is not backed by material assets, but by sexual gains and social desirability. Those who view Jersey Shore increase their own feelings of superiority by putting down characters like Snooki and “The Situation,” and it’s pretty easy to do, as their drunk confessionals are often asinine, but the show hosts a couple, Ron and Sammi “Sweetheart,” who exude the stench of maladaptive, malicious, malignant, pathological narcissism beyond the layman cultural narcissist, their co-stars, and most network celebs.
Ronnie Ortiz-Margo and Sammi Giancola are an on-again-off-again duo of destruction that seemingly cause the majority of the crew’s drama through their routine verbal and physical abuse. Sammi punches Ronnie in the face, Ronnie trashes their joint bedroom, and the cycle continues, fueled by jealousy, cheating, and a whole lot of "Ron Ron Juice." Since ending the series, Sammi has distanced herself from everyone on the show and married a man who is out of the limelight. Ronnie, however, has been a mainstay of TMZ. Jen Harley, Ron’s ex-girlfriend and baby mama featured on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, is the aggressor in several domestic violence charges. Instagram Live recordings posted on her account detail emotional and bodily harm and are accompanied by years worth of Instagram stories showing Ron being “dragged by a car” by Jen, his black eye, a multitude of other lacerations, and his arrest for kidnapping their daughter. Ron can be seen spiraling on Family Vacation in relation to the drama and general chaos; before going on a “Ronpage,” he becomes sucked into his screen and types frantically to Jen. His roommates cannot get through to him; he appears to be in a trance. Though Jen and Ron eventually part ways after proving to be absolute menaces to the Las Vegas Police Department, his pattern of abuse appears to continue with his next ex-girlfriend, Saffire Matos, who stayed with Ronnie after he was hauled away for an “intimate partner violence” incident.
Rage is a common feature of narcissism, and shows like Jersey Shore normalize inappropriate aggression by monetarily reinforcing dangerous behaviors. The social shame stars receive is not enough to curtail their actions because it is not immediate and is immeasurable when compared to television royalties and brand sponsorships. Narcissists, while sensitive to criticism because it threatens their egos, are also often unresponsive to other’s opinions, even if en masse, and because these characters face their ramifications on the internet, an even greater level of detachment occurs, enabling the narcissist to turn shitty online attention into biofuel, as seen with Trump, Milo Yiannoppoulos, and so many others.
The “Narcissism on the Jersey Shore” study is in accordance with McLuhan: as you numb yourself through electric extensions, connective cell death takes hold, removing us from our physical reality, imprisoning us in a hall of mirrors that distorts one’s values and self-view, exiling the subject to the “clown world,” causing him to split between the digital realm and his natural, collective existence. The term “clown world” is generally thought to be a phrase of the alt-right, but it’s applicable to the most extreme and most delusional areas of society, including most of the chronically online, tone-deaf democrats, black-pilled nihilists who have horseshoe’d from the far left to the far right (& vice versa), and the proto-fascists waiting for The Storm to rise (again). In other words, the “clown world” is the result of a population plagued with binary thinking and electric brainwashing; optics, personal gain, and sensationalism are positively reinforced while nuance, thorough understanding, and collectivism are rejected, both consciously and unconsciously, leading to a disharmony so profound that communication breaks down and disastrous hyperpolarization incubates, birthing a stalemate of hopelessness mixed with apocalyptic anxiety.
Theatrical politics are often cited as symptoms of the “clown world.” The Trump Bible photo-op during the BLM protests as well as the establishment Democrats cloaked in Kente kneeling for 8 minutes and 46 seconds “in memory” of George Floyd serve as examples of this, as they employ a suspension of reality that anyone in their right mind can see is absolutely bonkers. Civil War or complete destruction via social unrest should not be a more foreseeable future than a counter-cultural redux, or genuine unity, or a climate-forward movement, or continuance of life free from Tantalum age, capitalist oppression. The binary, dichotomous thought that is encoded in internet communications and promoted by partisan politics, conventional newscasts, (un)reality television, and other medias forms a basis for cultural personality disorder formation by reinforcing the splitting of good and evil, of right versus left, and other dialectical opposites. Binary thinking also typically follows an ebb and flow of idealizing and devaluing, a pattern that is seen in the aforementioned narcissist-borderline relationship. Binary thinking does not acknowledge the murky, gray middle ground that most situations require acceptance of. The immediate categorization and moralization of seemingly everything is symptomatic of convenience and outrage culture; we simply do not want to take the time to unravel messy, distressing, or conflicting viewpoints. These widespread phenomenons are highly unstable and caustic in their lack of breathing room and refusal of nuance.
Dichotomous thinking on the individual level causes issues with perfectionism, shame, self-hatred, and can lead us to feel as though there is no way out but to enact harm to the self or others when challenged by the environment or our relationships. On a superstructural, extreme level, binary thinking causes in-group-out-group dynamics which can lead to genocide, as seen in Rwanda, Germany, and Cambodia. Us vs. Them mentalities of moral and ethnic superiority can currently be seen in China with the Uyghurs, through the Evangelicals and Q-anon spiritual warfare folk, and in hyper-nationalist Russia as Putin steamrolls Ukraine. The sides of these affairs are further exaggerated on social media where groups on either side promote their propaganda and spread misinformation that is undetectable to most, though leftist Americans tend to have a knack for identifying U.S. propaganda while miserably failing to recognize Russian and Chinese disinfo, perhaps because we have an understanding of our own marketing tactics. The trends of nihilism and apathy are also birthed of this dynamic: Fatalism is a binary failure. Pigeon-holing oneself into a doomsday box is akin to drinking the Kool-Aid with Jim Jones, and reaffirming the culture of narcissism does nothing but choke faith in collective change. While the future certainly looks grim, it will certainly be grim if we keep suckling on the numbing nip. Young people, while painfully aware of the earth’s decay and fed up with the economic traps of the credit system, are seemingly unmotivated or too paralyzed to organize because the final bosses of industry are so gargantuan. We are cowering to Goliath. If you’re going to pick a side, at least play David and fling some rocks.
While TV and our other media exports have long reared cultural narcissism, nothing is as successful at rewiring the brain and belief systems as Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. A social media presence requires self-commodification by splitting the all-encompassed self from the desirable self. The social media profile is curatorial, as the user is promoted to craft an ideal image in hopes of garnering attention and approval through likes and comments. Clearly, a curated self is an unstable self, as it relies upon external validation, and with the positive trend between social media usage and dissociation from actuality, it shouldn’t be bold to claim that being online develops traits of NPD and BPD in its fracturing of the physical presence from the digital disembodiment. As mentioned with Kim Kardashian, the image and lifestyle she and other influencers project is unrealistic and unattainable, even with the funds and access to the best Beverly Hills surgeons. Not even Kim K can achieve the look she posts for millions to see; her real self is constantly filtered and edited, and her beauty goalpost is ever-shifting. She is the encapsulation of women’s aesthetic pressures, and I’m unsure if her Skims-suit can entertain the constant dieting and liposuction for much longer.
The only other thing I’m certain about Kim, next to her narcissism, is her deep-seated sense of self-hatred, but I guess shame is the root of NPD, with many forming narcissistic defenses to make up for their insecurities, perceived faults, and history of not being viewed as good enough. But Kim was fine before the rhinoplasty, Kylie was fine before the injections, and we were fine before the lip challenges that left us bruised and the waist trainers that only made us feel fatter from the sudden onset of acid reflux and breathing difficulties. We are clearly not fine mentally, and nothing we do to alter ourselves on apps or with scalpels or SPANX will make us feel better. We may get more likes, we may get laid more, but nothing will eat at that underlying emptiness. Can’t suck out the empty. Can’t photoshop or finsta post or contour the empty. You can certainly try to doomscroll away your awareness, but the realization that it’s all a meaningless, torturous game, and that there’s no winner, nor an entity to prove yourself to, will make you feel, well, pretty damn empty. The numbness only magnifies itself later once you thaw from the ice of the internet, and while regaining that sensory may hurt, and remaining numb may seem like the stream of least resistance, keeping your head and hands in the electric sand and leaving your body to be warmed by blue light rather than by bodies or the sun is an enactment of slow, socially-acceptable suicide. So cut the shit and unsubscribe. Give yourself some breathing room, some grace. Wipe off the makeup and the selfie smirk. I promise that none of your Instagram followers would truly miss your presence, but your sister and friends miss your laughter, the sparkle behind your eyes, and those cookies you make that look a little mangled but taste better than an image ever could. Stare down that eyeless emptiness, and call it out for what it is. Abandon your grave attraction to this strange rot and narcosis. Free yourself from the culture of narcissism.